Day 2

Lenggong - Pulau Banding, Belum Rainforest Reserve

pulau banding is this tiny island in the middle of lake temenggor...still in perak...belum forest reserve has been there for ages...but the resort they are building there now is only jst in its starting phases...so there really is much to do there if ur on a budget...even the cheapest thing to do costed rm50 per person...and all we did was ride in a boat around the island n go see a raffelesia...it was a beautiful forest and lake...n it was well worth d rm50 spent...

the view of the lake from the resort

view of the lake

raffelesia

after the tour we returned to the room to just chill in the afternoon cz it was getting really hot...later in the evening when the sun was kinda going down, we made our way to the orang asli settlement near the resort...nobody actually lives there..it is the site where 3 local heroes who worked for the british army used to stay when they battling the communist threat..

house

dinner area

trail leading to and away from the settlement

n again...day 3 will be continued at another time...hehe...tmr i leave for penang for yet another holiday!!!!:D

East Coast Road Trip with Mum I

Day 1 : Ipoh to Lenggong

in case ur wondering y we chose to go to lenggong...its cause thats where the perak man was found...apparently he was the earliest remains found of a person with a genetic defect...he himself wasnt really that interesting...but the rest of the stuff there i found really cool...like for example he stone toolls they used to carve their hunting weapons with...and the clay pots n cooking utensils they used then that we still use today in the absence of electric blenders...

some of the rocks on display

the clay pots n bowls used back then

the view of tasik raban from the resort we stayed in (it was really really crappy)

lata kekabu...a waterfall near the tasik

Day 2 will come in the next post....at least that gives me a few posts worth of writing...lol

Hope

this year has been a year of hope in so many ways...

March 8th Malaysians all around showed that there was still HOPE for this country...hope that it could change...hope that it would change...n that day the politcal landscape of malaysia at least was changed forever...

November 4th Americans showed the whole world that there was still HOPE for change when they voted for Obama as the 44th president of the United States...n in his speech..he spoke of change n of hope...n even though he addressed the nation of america, the people of the world listened and heard him...

n they started to hope again as well...

November 7th as if in response to the hope of billions renewed jst a few days back, Malaysian Judge Syed Ahmad Helmy Syed Ahmad gave new hope to all Malaysians by freeing our beloved Raja Petra Kamarudin from the detention of the dreaded Internal Security Act...

this Act has never been stood up against...it has been used in the worst of ways...

but now...finally...this brave Malaysian has proven this Act to be not as invincible as people thought...he has given us hope that things can, are, will change...

November 7th Malaysian Judge SM Komathy Suppiah showed Malaysians that she will not stand for people meddling in the justice system..she ordered that Anwar's trial remain in the Sessions Court n not be moved to the high court, which was initiated by a person whose motives were unclear...

she has given us hope...

this year...it hasnt been easy...but at least we have something to hope for...n its not false hope...its a true hope...a genuine hope...one that can become reality...one that is already becoming reality...

What Does It Mean To Be Malaysian

It means...

nasi lemak for breakfast, banana leaf for lunch and pan mee for dinner...or

roti canai for breakfast, chicken rice for lunch and ramly burger for dinner...or

half-boiled eggs & porridge for breakfast, nasi kunyit rendang ayam for lunch and chapati for dinner...

It means...

never going hungry at 3a.m. thanks to the local mamak stall

It means...

having open houses at all religious festivals...

to see the "malays" and "indians" infesting a "chinese" house during chinese new year...

to see the "malays" and "chinese" infesting an "indian" house during deepavali...

to see the "chinese" and "indians" infesting a "malay" house during hari raya...

It means...

growing up with alan chan as my left neighbour and ahmad zaki as my right right neighbour...

running around with them in the field after school without bothering what colour their skin is...

It means...

having learnt english and bahasa malaysia in school...

yet my everyday sentences are filled with faitit, kaotim, sapede, tani, giddah, chakde and many others...

It means...

having a brotherhood that would kill and die for each other...

but is made up of "indians", "chinese" and "bidayuhs"...

It means...

standing together as one nation during elections to shout out loud in a voice by the actions of...

a "malay" voting for a "chinese", a "chinese" voting for an "indian" and an "indian" voting for a "malay"...

It means...

a "chinese" girl in a baju kebaya, a "malay" girl in a punjabi suit and an "indian" girl in a cheongsam...

a "chinese" dude in a jippa, a "malay" dude in a samfu and an "indian" dude in a baju melayu...

It means...

choosing to die for MALAYSIA...

not CHINA or INDIA or MALAYA...but MALAYSIA...

I was born in this blessed country...i was raised in this country...n i love this country...sure its not perfect...but can u tell me which country really is perfect?

"the perfect person does not exist and neither does the perfect nation. all that exists are perfect intentions"

p/s: all the races are in " " because in actual essence they are all Malaysian but are unfortunately classified by the home country of their ancestors...

Shut Down

this blog has been a place for me to post some of my most intimate thoughts...my views...my depression times...jst basicly my rants...

but lately i've been happy...no more drama in my life...n i plan to keep it dat way...

so as long as there is no more drama in my life...i really dun have much to post on...

as such...im temporarily shutting down my blog...

at least during this period of calm...before the next storm hits...n hit it will...sooner or later :)

Getting A Move Along

things are slowly moving on....getting adjusted to the new semester....time to start sitting down n doing sum work...

a lil update on things dat have been going on...

spent fri nite the the guys...pity not everyone could make it...but i had a great time nonetheless...it was really good...jst chilling...drinking with guys...playing pool and catching up with them...jst nice and easy u noe...we gotta do it again sum time soon....:D

then saturday took my sis to borneo ink to get her tattoo done...n surprise surprise i got another small piece to balance off my rat tattoo on my right shoulder...got the word karma in tibetan on my left shoulder....same colour as the rat tattoo...

sunday i spent it attending a basics to motorbikes course...yeah...finally getting my license for the big bikes...unfortunate actually getting the bike is gonna have to wait cz apparently my mum is dead against me getting those cruiser bikes or any bikes for that matter while im still studying...which sucks...all these prejudices against bikers that they have against these small bikes is getting in d way of me actually getting my big bike...sigh...

well...dats abt it....

Time And Strength

d more time passes by...the stronger u get...

sumtimes u get strong enough that u believe if u cud go bk in time n fight a particular battle u lost before...then maybe at ur current strength u cud win d battle...not mayb...u noe u wud wni the battle...

but then again...time is a one way street...

whats past is past...it cant come bk...it wont come bk...so there really is no point looking bk is there?

oh well....

So Much For Updating

haha...yes yes i noe i sed i'd update n put pictures n all dat...but all of us are fully aware of wut an absolute lazy bum i am...

having sed dat...even though i took a lot of pics on my travels im jst too bloody lazy to upload ANY of them...yes...dats how bloody lazy i am...

so 1st off i went to melaka for fiesta st pedro...its a portugese festival...but dats not all we did...we also went to jonker street...the pink church and the fort next to it as well as the ship museum...n finally at nite we went to the festival...

overall...as a 2d1n trip...we did loads and i had loads of fun n brought back loads of memories...incl of course rubens mums cooking...dat was by far the best dish we had in melaka...although the portugese food and the baba n nyonya food were pretty damn good as well...though hugo n rushir din really share our feelings...hehe

next up was pulai springs, johor...was there on a job under an even management company...now even though i say it was a job...it really was more like a paid holiday for us...transport was provided...so was accommodation in suites that fit 4 ppl in each suite and they din stuff extra ppl in the suites...oh...did i mention we also had buffet breakfast,lunch n dinner?

we got to wake up relatively late considering we were working...n also slept relatively early....i mean like sleep by 12+ 1...wake up arnd 8+...of course we did sum work...put up sum canopies...manned a few games stalls during the 2nd afternoon team building games...carry sum stuff here n there....

but we also got to relax and enjoy as well as even swim in d pool...where thanks to varuns persuasion, i tried the twirly twirly slide...all went well until the twirly part came and...yup...u guessed it...my fat ass got stuck...roflol...but it was still a good experience....gotta lose sum weight now...haha

n now its bk to uni...final year...got sum interestin lecturers...sum interesting subjects...but part of me just isnt 100% sure if this really is d course for me...but until i can figure sumthing else out...ill jst stick to it n follow the path...

well...dats all for now...

The Box

was going through some old stuff just now...looking for my old affirmation booklet from my prefects camp bk in form 6....its been a day of nostalgia for me...spent d day at school catching up with my teachers then at nite met 2 old frens whom i havent seen in a really long time...

so yeah...bk to where i was....was looking for my old affirmation booklet from the prefects camp...

thats when i came across something else...

in the search of my memories of old, i found other remnants and other memories...

i opened the box...the booklet was at d top...i took it out...n then looked bk...

the hand towel i borrowed once long ago...it still had her smell...

the pizza hut mix n match leaflet....with a smiley face drawn into it and a note at the bottom...

i should have stopped....

the picture frame with a picture of us jst before the school drama...both smiling happily...the boy in dat picture bears no resemblance to the person staring at it now...2 completely different people...

the four and a half jars of different coloured little folded pieces of paper...

i reached for it...

n then pulled bk....the wounds were already threatening to re-open....

so i quickly closed the box...n pushed it away...bk into its hiding place where it could tempt n hurt me no more...

will i ever be able to look at d contents of dat box again?will i be able to stay steady?do i even want stay steady?do i even want to look at d contents again?

god alone noes...

for now i shall focus on the affirmation booklet...n bury those forbidden thoughts deep into d abyss at the back of my mind...

A Cynic

i woke up yesterday n realized that its exactly what i've become...

a cynic....no more n no less...

after all d failed attempt n failed relationships...after all the shit i see happening around me....i've come to believe that there is no love....there is no happily ever after....no romance....no chivalry...nothing...

well....in my case anyway....

n if anyone comes up to me and says "there is sum1 out there for all us..." i'm going to tell them "yes...there is sum1 for all of us out there...jst sum of those 'sum1's have moved on from this world before their other half could meet them...

love is a chemical reaction in ur brain....its jst an imagination...a hope...something to keep u thinking happy thoughts....its like a drug...n most people are addicted to it....don't believe me?

what happens to a junkie when u take away his drugs?

he gets angry...he gets upset....slowly he slips into depression and insanity....he hurts himself or others physically to divert his attention n restlessness....

sound familiar?

love is a drug....probably the most evil drug ever to exist among humans...simply because its the one drug that every single human being gets addicted to...whether they like it or not...

except the cynics....who have been through d roller coaster ride soo many times n been hurt so many n have hurt soo many times that finally put all their will n might into kicking the addiction...cz they no longer believe the drug works...or more like they no longer believe the happiness they get during the high is worth the pain n suffering they have to endure when its taken away from them...

so im joining their ranks...

there is only so much u can fight....only so much u can put your heart out there for.....it just doesnt seem like its worth it anymore...

"if u take yourself out of the game,at least you don't have to worry about getting your heart hurt or broken." - 'what happens in vegas'

The Peoples King

tommorow is the Kings birthday....read a blog...and i've seen the King stretch his muscles in the recent months...the blog is rite...His Majesty Tuanku Mizan is truly the Peoples King..

read it here

The Journey

it started with a small meeting of seemingly random ppl and personalities...1 small fateful mmsg that led to a meaningful mamak session...full of hope...the birth of a "dream team"...this was more than a year ago...

then there was elections...n the uncertainty of the outcome...a sleepover at an apartment...all cracking their heads and helping each other out get ready for the next days interviews...all waiting for him to gv us sum good news..

he walked through the apt door wet...or at least we knew he had been soaked cz he changed his tshirt...it was a good sign..the leader had passed

the interviews came and went...we all passed...

the dream team had become a reality...not jst mere mamak table discussion...

then came planning....in the midst of exams...

exams ended with a booze party...which was d nite before we became the interviewers for the ppl that were to work with us...stoned...wired on all the things that cud keep us awake...we made it through...with loads of laughter...

the bond was growing stronger...

the team was expanded to those that would join us in our journey...a bonding session at a home...

then came a fair...n wrapping roses at a house...again...laughter and good times...the bond kept growing stronger...

then a camp...a camp with drama...the 1st test.....

the bond was shaky but still strong...the roles of each was decided...

then another camp...with a lot of tears...and the group was strongly bonded....all ready to face the coming year...

but not without its own drama that threatened the bonds between...

the 1st blow...1 left our ranks...

more planning...looong loooooooooong nights extending for almost 2 weeks...our 1st fall...

but the bonding in the 2 weeks was stronger...so we survived...

things went well...

then another left our ranks...

then another....

and another....

and 2 more....

crippled...but we crawled on....things were getting shaky...

another drama....things were staring to fall apart...

a weekend retreat...a glimmer of hope...we mite still make it through...

another camp...revived hopes....recharged....the half way mark...."only 6 months to go"..

why the change in mentality?

we came bk....looking forward...an jst when we thought we could do it with the ppl that helped us make the decisions...

another left our ranks...

then a booze party that spelt good news for some...but not so good news for the dream team...

things jst weren't the same...

ppl kept silent for many months now....wut happened to the openness from the first fall?

disrespect...

and 1 called for a break...

then another...

the 1st came bk...to finish the job...

the 2nd came bk...but not quite...

then the new team that would replace us was selected...

and after a long transition....they are in power...

our journey has ended...

the dream team has had its run...

wut happens now as they stand at the crossroads...

will there be meet ups and drinks and laughter again?

something tells me its not so ideal a happy ending for this dream team...

MAFU

yes...its been a really long time since i blogged cause i've been busy with exams and my internship...came across this in facebook....it struck a cord in me...i've linked them at the side here...placed even before my picture n profile which has always been 1st in my blog side bar...

here is a bigger version of the link and the video...

u noe why it struck a cord with me?

simple...

i was BORN in malaysia
i was RAISED in malaysia
i have traveled across the world
but malaysia will always be my HOME

I AM A MALAYSIAN

i m not an indian or a melayu or a chinese.

no other country in the world can be my home...no other country in the world i would die for...

yes...we're a young and imperfect nation compared to the other superpowers in the world...

but we ARE a NATION nonetheless.

Just a Thought

"When the whole world is against you,
when all your enemies are coming down on you,

and you find yourself backed up against the wall,
and you find you have buckled,
and you find yourself on your knees,

just remember one thing,

you are in the perfect position to PRAY,
you are in the perfect position to SPEAK TO GOD,

and remember that GOD answers ALL prayers,
just not always in the way we expect it"

-Unknown

"If you ask God for courage,
does he give you courage?

or an opportunity to be courageous?"

-Morgan Freeman in Evan Almighty

just a few thoughts :D

Religion

disclaimer : again...these are my views...u do not have to agree with them n if u post nasty comments i don't have to approve them...so be nice...if u hv nth nice to say, dont say nething at all..


religion...its such a precarious subject...so fragile...so sensitive...its the only thing in d world dat people will actually kill for...nothing in the world can divide human beings in a more clear cut n serious manner...not even racial ethnicities or gender for that matter...

religion divides human beings while spirituality unites them.

bold statement i noe...but its a fact...lets take a look at how religion divides human beings...1stly the world is divided into mainly the eastern n the western religions...the eastern religions have many deities and gods...theses include hindhuism, buddhism, the japanese believe structure (not sure wut its called...n no,its not bushido, dats a code of ethics so to speak)...then u have sikhism which believes there is only 1 true god...which is d same as the believe of the modern western religions whose followers are known as people of the book...the jews,the muslims and the christians....

lets jst for arguments sake bring in the ancient western religions as well...the greek and roman gods....the egyptian believe structure...the whole lot...now the biggest bone of contention is this :

"the old religions say there are many gods but the newer religions say there is only 1"

lets take a short look at the older religions statement...wut makes a god?to them (both ancient western and eastern religions), a god is sum1 who is immortal...who has special abilities that can affect the world and the people living in it...so they say there are many gods based on this definition...but even among their gods, there is always 1 that stands higher above the rest...the so called king of the gods...like zues for example...

now lets review the newer religions statement...there is only one god...one who created the heavens n the earth n hell n everything in between...but...he (for the context of this entry, god is a he..but a black he :P) had help creating n running the world....ok mayb not creating...but definitely running...wut do u think angels are there for?

now wut are angels in the new religions?

immortals who live forever with special abilities that can affect the world and the people living in it...each given powers by god to do certain tasks...

think of hades, the god of the underworld, and lucifer,the fallen angel that rules over hell...is there really that big a difference?thats jst one example...but u do see where im heading rite?

bingo...the many deities and gods of the olden religions merely got their ranks reclassified when they moved into the new religions...kinda like calling a data entry clerk a manager of information systems...jst a different name but the job scope n everything is the same...

now if u really look at the religions...old and new...they all speak a similar msg...yes the language and wordings are slightly different (n its these small differences that people kill each other over) but the message is the same...n that is how to live ur life as a good decent human being...n wut will happen should u choose to be a horrible excuse for a human being...kinda like a guideline...like a guidebook to life...

so now u have all the religions fighting each other for supreme control...the muslims say that u must be muslim to go to heaven...the christians say that christ is d only way to heaven...the jews im not so sure...the hindhus, buddhists, sikhs and the rest r just sitting there quietly...we dont care if u join our believe...jst dun force us to join urs...n mind u...u cant convert into a sikh...cz if u read the Guru Granth Sahib it clearly states that u r not to change ur religion...that if god put u on earth as a christian,muslim,sikh etc....then that is exactly wut he meant u to be...

now before u go out there n kill for ur religion that u believe to be completely and undeniably the one only truth...here a small fact to ponder upon...

u r fully aware that god kept sending down people to deliver the msg he wanted to humans rite?there was abraham,moses,jesus,muahamad,buddha,dalai lama,guru nanak till guru gobind...thats a lot of people he sent down...u noe y?

BECAUSE PEOPLE KEPT FUCKING THE MESSAGE UP!!!

bingo!!!god spoke...but god didnt write...humans did that...n we all noe how communication works...sum idiot along the line who thinks wut he is hearing doesnt sound rite will edit it to make it sound rite and then pass it along...n the process continues throughout the entire production line...

i been writing a lot havent i?well...jst one last short story i came across while i was studying german literature in switzerland....this is a translated and shortened version...but i've tried to maintain as much of the message as i could...

so there was this wise christian named alexander the wise (literal translation from alexander der wiess)...he was called to entertain the sultan in the province he was traveling in one day...the sultan obviously being a muslim...so he went...n the sultan asked him "whose religion is better?urs or mine?"

now alex (im too lazy to type out the full name) knew that if he said it was his religion,the sultan would be offended n it mite not bode well for him...n also knew if he sed that the sultans religion was better, the sultan would ask him to convert n he would not be able to say no after agreeing that islam is better than christianity...so he replied the sultan with a story of a family...the story goes smth like this..

there was once a man who owned a gold ring...it was a flawless gold ring like no other...when he passed away he gave it to his only son...his son kept it till the day he died and gave it to his only son in turn....n this succession continued for many generations...until one father had 3 sons...

now the father loved all 3 sons equally...n he cud not decide which of the 3 sons to gv the ring to...so he went to gold smith and asked the gold smith to create 2 identical rings so that there would be 3 in total and all his sons could get one...n it worked...the father passed away n all 3 sons got a ring...

soon the sons found out what the father had done...they were angry and they fought each other because all of them believed that they had the real original ring that had been passed down from generation to generation...so they finally went to a gold smith to find out which was the real ring...but the gold smith could not tell them apart...so they went to another gold smith n even he could not tell them apart...

no one..not the brothers themselves nor any gold smith or person could tell the 3 rings apart...but the brothers were obsessed about being the holder of the true ring, or what they believed to be the true ring, that they continued to fight and bicker and in the end they ended up dying at each others hands...bitter n angry....

none of them could see that what their father was really trying to tell them by doing that was that he loved them all equally and that they should love each other and their children all equally...the message was misread and it ended in catastrophe and tragedy...

the father was god and the rings were the religions....

Back Home

i have made a few drafts on how i feel rite now...n a few drafts over the past week or so abt the things going on in my life...however due to privacy issues, i cant publish those entries...

lets see...2 weeks ago i went to get my 2nd tattoo...finally...n im already thinking of my 3rd...will post up a pic of my 2nd piece as soon as i can get it uploaded....other than that...everything else that has happened has to be kept private...n hence i cant blog abt it...suffice to say that sum of it was good...n sum of it was bad....but all i can say is that its over...u live n u learn...shall stay away from those kinda situations in d future...

n now im back home in ipoh....for d 1st timein like 2 months plus...came bk yest...jst chilled....then today went to the waterfalls with my mum, dad n sis...it was really great...we started off d morning by going to temple (yes...i went to temple) cz tmr is vasakhi n they were raising the nishan sahib today...so we were there for that...

then we came home...cooked nasi lemak with chicken sambal and taufu sambal (my mum is a vegetarian)...then packed the car n drove up to the waterfalls at meru...it was the 1st time we went there....its a natural waterfall in the golf club compound...so only members can get there...it was quite exclusive...we were the only ones there...the water was so clear n beautiful...but cold...

it was really nice spending time together with my family...too bad my bro couldnt make it down...n its really really nice to see how my parents interact with eact other...almost 30 years n 3 kids later n they still like a teen lovers...its so cute really...=D

well..thats abt all for now...tmr is off day for me...shall be heading bk to kl...n then on tues its bk to the craziness....oh well...

ciaoz

Updates

its been very long since i updated my blog...mainly cause i've been busy as hell lately with internship and aiesec n a lot of other things...cant write much now either...waiting for my supervisor to come into work...

went for ruums all u can drink party the other nite...it was amazing...n definitely worth my money....i really had a great time there...got home at abt 5 smth in d morning...had a bath ironed my clothes n went for elections...

aiesec elections were surprising to say the least...but too much to write n no time now....

there are good things happening in my life rite now..things that make me really happy...and also bad things happening...things dat make me really sad....

so im really messed up rite now...

but dun worry...i'll be fine in no time....jst need to clear my head....:D

gotta run...supervisor coming in finally...:)

Single Vs. Taken

in case ur wondering y i can suddenly post a blog entry in d middle of d day in d middle of d week...its not cz im using working hours to do this...i jst so happen to have woken up with a bad bout of diarrhea...n hence i did not go to work...obviously...

so my completely and utterly random topic for today is singlehood vs being in a relationship...yes...im aware that is not the exact topic...but u get my drift...:P

y did i suddenly think of this?well...its been nagging at me for quite sum time...its no secret that i'm single n available....its also no secret that i have tried for a few girls from various races n failed miserably...but its also no secret that i was in a beautiful relationship for 2 1/2 years that ended due to my dads intervention....

now i'm single...n i'm happy being single...really...i m...i have a great time...i go to work..i come home...i chill...on d weekends i go out with my mates for sum pool n drinks...i hang out with my sis n housemate in shopping malls n stuff like dat...its great...its pure independence...i can say wut i want n do wut i want how i want n when i want...cz lets face it...there isnt another person that i have to think abt thats gonna be worried abt me or anything like dat...its beautiful...

now to d bad side...jst cz i'm single...doesnt mean the people arnd me are all single as well...a few of them have their significant other...their boyfriends and their girlfriends...n i see them...n at times it kinda sucks...cz well...they're all lovey dovey n all dat shit n im there n i cant really run anywhere anyway...but it does make me think sumtimes...how much i really do miss that companionship...n being in a relationship...

being in a relationship i assure u...is blissful...seriously...the companionship u get from that one significant other is amazing...its jst having this one person that well...understands u...n accepts u...n no matter how bad things get...they'll always be there right by ur side...n they'll always noe exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right time to lift ur spirits up even when ur at d lowest point in ur life....

but...it comes at a price...1stly...u dun have dat independence anymore...everything u do...everything u say....u have to remember that ur not the only one that will have to face the consequences...ur significant other will oso have to face the consequences...which ends up impairing d ability to do all the crazy shit u can n most probably will do while ur single...

the other price is the most dreadful...n this ur mates will pay....not u...n i've noticed it with all my mates...things change 180 degrees once they r in a relationship...i don't see them as often anymore...they r always with their girlfriends...n i dunno if its them or if its the girlfriend tying a rope around their necks...but its jst sad...more often than not when u call them out their replies are standard..."cant lah...going to gf place"..."cant lah...out with gf now"..."cant lah...ade made plans with her"...or.."too tired lah...jst came bk from her place"....u get d picture rite?

so which begs the question...me being happy abt my singlehood now n all...if the rite girl came along...would i really wanna get into a relationship with her?would i in turn end up like my mates now are with a collar arnd their necks?or does it depend on d girl?

of course...in the end...no one can actually answer my questions...d single ones are gonna tell me how great it is to be single...n d taken ones are gonna tell me how great it is to be in a relationship...which kinda doesnt help at all...lol

The Dawn Of A New Era

the title relates to more than one thing....

firstly obviously...was the amazing,awesome and very satisfactory results of the 12th malaysian general elections....where the ruling coalition was finally denied a 2/3 majority....which means they cant do wutever they hell they want anymore...they need the oppositions approval before they can push anything through in parliament...d indians completely deserted the ruling coalition...MIC only won 3 parliamentary seats...n d opposition indian army grew from 2 to 20!!!now thats wut i'm talking abt man...

secondly...is well...my internship...kinda a new era for me so to speak...1st time working experience...being an auditor for pwc...kononnya auditor lah...lol...but its a good experience...although its got nth at all to do with my major...im learning things i otherwise would nvr learn abt....n i have a new found respect for auditors...the amount of work they do...jst to ensure accountability n to ensure companies actually stay afloat...its amazing...n the amount of number crunching dats involved...its unbelievable....

finally...i've had a good weekend....a relaxing friday nite...a chilled saturday...a good pool outing with the guys...n watching elections results on tv...n smth else that has put a perpetual smile on my face the whole weekend....my housemates cant believe im smiling this much...the people involved should noe wut its abt...;p....

well...i'm signing off now...will probably only post again next weekend...:D

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed0m!!!!

hahahahahahahahaha....yeah...i'm abit on d crazy side now....well...more than i usually am lah....lol

been in lockdown mode for a whole freaking week cz of my finals....n it finally ended on friday....i have officially finished my 3rd year of university....

unfortunately...i do not have holidays from now till july....instead i have my internship starting tmr at PWC that goes all the way till 20th june...kinda excited n scared at d same time...

anyways....d point of this post is abt my freeeeeeeeeed0m~~~~~~=D

so wut did i do to celebrate?

went out for pool on friday night...ended up in sanctuary after dat...had shit loads of beer...finally reached home arnd 4 in d morning...it was absolutely great...4 indian guys n 1 chinese dude at 1 table in a club that was 95% filled with chinese....lol...d dj was excellent....the music was perfect...n all of us were dancing the whole night long...yes...i danced...it was great...i had a wonderful time...:D

then yest night i went out with all the punjabi guys....ppl i havent met in ages...we went to this punjabi club called shararas...no idea if thats how its spelt...but before that...we went to the "dobi" shop and bought 1 bottle of famous grouse n 1 bottle of black label...we went to prems place and finished the famous grouse in less than 30 minutes....then we took d black label to shararas n paid corkage for it....finished that in abt 1 hour...then hugo,rushir n aman joined us there....n we opened a bottle of chivas there...so basicly 6 guys finished 2 litres of whiskey n then we were joined by another 3 n d 9 of us finished yet another bottle of whiskey...so u can imagine how high we were...n how hilarious the whole thing was...finally got home close to 5am...then hit d bed

woke up still feeling d buzz....now dat was a good feeling to have 1st thing when u wake up man....then went for lunch with bro n sis n tracy n terence...then to one utama to watch jumper with them...n then a lil bit of shopping...my god...this chink chick....bloody hell...usually chink dun have any ass...n even if they do...thats all they have...but this chick...she had ass man...really really nice ass...with really really hot slender legs that lead up to that hot ass....n she was beautiful....damn....thats like a once in a lifetime thing man...that ass...those legs....that face....drooollz~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyways...i guess thats it for now...need to get ready for tmr....thanx to everyone who made my weekend a great one...:D

Forgive Me

i listened to this song after a loooong time...n suddenly the words meant so much more...n the pain was so much more real...it goes out to one person n one person only...i believe u noe who u r...:)




Title: Lifehouse - Blind lyrics

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
and still I have the pain I have to carry
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go
----------------------------------------------
everything fits xcept d 2nd line of the 1st verse for it was me who left...

im sorry for the pain...im sorry for leaving when u needed me most...im sorry for not fighting harder for us....im sorry for not being more than i should have been...

"a part of me died when i let u go"
its true....in fact...more than a part of me died...u were my 1st...n will always be my 1st...no matter where i go...no matter what i do...the memories will always be with me...

but now...i have to move forward...n i think i finally mite b able to do that...after 2 long years....i think its time...

im sorry.

A New Face

finally modded my laptop....finally managed to upload d pics to my laptop...now im posting them here for d world(read:few lost souls who actually visit this site) to see...:D








p/s: yes....i changed my blog layout to PINK...jst for d fun of it....roflol

For The First Time

call it an epiphany or wut ever u wan...

but for the first time in almost over a year...im thinking straight again...i got my head screwed on d right way around...

this comes from lots of late nite chats with ruben...with varun...with my sis...with tracy...

comes from a lot of whacks on d head...sum quite painful ones...sum very metaphorical whacks...dat actually hurt more than d physical ones...

but it was all worth it...

things are so much clearer now...

realizing how really wrong it would have been....

i actually sed thank u to 2 ppl...they had a good laugh..lol

realizing how in sum situation i had unwittingly compromised my own principles...n stepped over boundaries that i nvr should have....

realizing that sometimes...
...u gotta jst be who u are...do ur part...n shut out d rest...
...its best to jst not care...
...people are fake cz they are actually afraid
...people who know u best actually know whats best for u
...my sis n tracy make a lot of sense
...age and a wide worldview can make all d difference
...n most of d time there is all the difference in d world between a girl n a woman
...brothers are there for a reason...n not always good reasons...
...people change...themselves...their mindsets...their principles...their ideals
...it actually is better to have NOT loved at all than to have loved n lost
...it is better to have loved n lost than not loved at all
...it is better to surround urself with true friends than bother urself with all the drama of a relationship
...d mind should take control of d heart
...d heart should be allowed to present its case

i m moving forward...

leaving d past in d past...

i tried different roads...different paths...i have traveled the road less taken...n i have traveled the road that many travel on...

i have realized that the road less taken is better...n even better than that is making ur own road...

so for now...i m going bk to d road less traveled...lonely though it may be...there are many more adventures...n some things i jst need to do on my own...

for those who have been worried about me these past couple of weeks...dun worry...i am fine now...i have d right support as i always have had...

if i did not confide in u...do not take it too harshly...i simply only confide in family...as they have seen me through my darkest hours and know what im truly capable of...n certain aspects of me..unless u r family...u will not understand...n u will not be able to accept...thats jst d way life is...

i'll be back on my 2 feet before u noe it...u wont even realize dat i was gone...:)

I Am Worth Sooo Much More

disclaimer: this is MY experience...it is what I have gone through...if u feel i have implicated u in this post...too bad...take it up with me personally or shut the fuck up...

i have regressed...AIESEC was supposed to have expanded my horizons...it was supposed to have done soo much more for me...as a person...in terms of growth and everything...

dun get me wrong...AIESEC...the idea of it...the organization itself..the goals are good and the visions are solid...

but the people...the so called change agents...its less than ideal...

i spent a year in switzerland...i graduated from high school there...i was who i was...fearless...outspoken...independent of politics and wut other people thought...

but aiesec sucked me bk into high school...cz thats the mentality there...it really is...u aren't judged on how much work u do...or how much u contribute...u r judged on how good u look...if u fit into the "in" crowd or not...u r judged by how well u can play the political games....by how fake u can be...

i have regressed...

i poured my heart n soul into this organization...but wut do i have to show for it?

-pain
-heartache
-trials
-tribulations
-mockeries

my whole life for the past one year or so has been aiesec...the people i go to eat with...the people i drink with...the people i see everyday...n slowly..n steadily...their mindsets effected me...

they made me truly believe that i am less than wut i truly am...they made me believe that malaysian guys are worthless...that we dunno how to do anything rite...that our western counterparts are soo much better...

but how do they noe?

have they lived with them before?have they seen our western counterparts for wut they truly are?

NO...they have not...all they have are little girlish images and visions that are so far from the truth...their visions are about as far from the truth as i am as far away from heaven while sitting on my throne in hell...

but i am finally finding myself again...listening to those who truly noe me...listening to myself again...my voice that has been silenced for oh so long...

I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE...

i am who i am...im no model...but i aint that bad looking either...i got the looks...n i got the personality...i AM a great guy...n im finally getting back that confidence again...

to the girls who r reading this...who still think so highly of my western counterparts....who think my western counterpart are soo much better than our local boys...

let me tell u this...i was much much more obnoxious than this back in switzerland n i was considered there to b better than the other guys....more gentlemanly than them...n i came bk...n i had to tone down abit...

this is toned down...if u cant even handle me...u really think u got a chance handling them?

wake up...i've learnt my lesson...i'm moving on...i'm moving out of high school again...its about time u people decided to grow up as well...

good bye people

Its Time

time to take a step back...

i hv pushed passed all of my limits....i hit those limits so long ago....

i surpassed all my limits....meantal...physical...emotional...

it was only a matter of time...

but when it happened...even i didn't see it coming...

1 minute i was standing...whole...

the next i had broken...burnt out...worn out...

there is only so far so u can push pass your limits...

to those that are taking up the slack for me...i apologize...i sincerely do...but i really need to take a step back...

to collect myself...

to put myself back together...

to gather my focuses...

to get back on track...

the time has come....i'm taking control...n i'm taking a step back.

Current Addictions

currently addicted to these 3 songs....such nice songs...with such strong n meaningful lyrics...especially to me...especially now...

Yellowcard Lyrics




Sofia Loell - Utopia Lyrics




Simple Plan When I'm Gone Lyrics

1 Year and Counting

the past few weeks have been busy as hell...the sem is flying by sooooo damn fast...every week now is filled wv midsem tests n assignments...

but the past few days have been good...a lot of drinking...a lot of bonding...a lot of showing my true colours...n a lot of revelations...things i hv forgotten...things dat slowly remind me of who i am n y certain things are the way they are...

revelation/remembrance no.1
i can not have a girlfriend...its impossible...because no girl will truly understand my brotherhood...n even if she did...she would not b able to accept it...not the lengths to which i go for my brothers...only they noe it...

revelation/remebrance no.2
brothers are brothers for a reason...the blood in our veins mayb different...but the bond is the same....regardless wut happens...ups n downs will always be there...u'll be fine one day...u'll fight the next...u'll wanna whack d shit out of each other...u hurt one another...but at the end of the day...u talk it out...u think it through...n nth can break the bond...

revelation/remembrance no.3
i m not a trusting person...i trust my family n my brothers completely...but i dun trust any1 else with them...n cz they r my brothers...i will say things that need to be said...if it hurts them..its hurting me too...but it needs to be said...

if u r not my family...u will not understand....but i swear to god...i wan nth but their happiness...even if the price of that is my life or my time in hell...i would gladly pay it....n if u ever hurt any of my brothers...be prepared...cz not even god himself can save u from me...

today actually marks me having this blog for 1 whole year...have nvr managed to keep a blog updated frequently enough or for long enough a period to actually reach this moment...so yeah...its great i finally kept an active blog open for a year....below are sum of the more memorable posts from the past year...hehe

Off Loyalties, Trust and True Friends
To My Angels
The Line Went Dead
The Price Of Loyalty
History Repeats Itself
My Take On Heaven and Hell
Guys Are Pathetic
A Haunting
Slipping
Penang and a Clearer Head

yup...all very memorable...some with very funny comments...hehe...neways...thats all for now....ciaoz...

A Good Start

well...its only been 1 week....but its been a really great week.....

monday was new years eve...which was ablast by itself...all d gang got together in our apt n got pissed drunk n ushered in d new year...and the chinese new year as well....although its still a month away....lol...

wednesday we went to murni...jst ruben,varun,jim n me....all d brothers back together...it feels like home...too long away from them....it jst din feel rite...being together again...its like a reassurance...that no matter wut shit comes this year...they got my back...through all d thick n the thin...

thursday was our 1st aiesec episode...which was absolutely a blast....for d 1st time...i saw n felt...there was no senior aiesecers n no junior aiesecers...it was jst a whole group of aiesecers....the spirit...the togetherness...it was amazing...n dat obviously lead to another great murni yumcha session after episode....for that..THANKS GOAY!!!u mage it possible...:D

then yest we got together...n we went for basketball...jst a few of us...lydia,listya,goay,foocheong,ruben,joshua n me...we played d longest round of basketball we have ever played...it was really a lot of fun...of course today my muscles hurt like hell...but still...it was fun...mite do it again nxt week...:D

overall...it was really great week...n a wonderful start to d new year....so hopefully d rest of d year follows the same trend...:D

A New Year, A New Beginning?

so 2007 is finally over....along with it came many many memories...n many many good times...

---> getting piss drunk on jims bday
---> all d 7 indians n 1 "indian" guys in d apt d whole nite looong drinking with no inhibitations
---> going for MT interviews stoned
---> all the laughter
---> all the friends
---> natcon
---> kuala selangor
---> birthday celebrations

n along with many many many more trials n tribulations....whatever doesnt kill u only makes u stronger rite?but being on d brink of death n coming bk time n time again is getting very tiring....n its slowly wearing me out...

my results sucked big time this past sem....dropped from 4.0 gpa to 2.94 gpa....cgpa from3.99 to 3.78....

my love life sucks....i tried for 1 punjabi n failed...i tried for a chinese a girl n failed...i tried for another chinese girl n failed again...i tried for d SAME girl (i noe...idiocy) again n guess wut?? I FAILED AGAIN!

i lost a long standing friendship...but that was the price to pay...it was a last resort...i din noe how else to help already....

i learnt that just because u dont like to play politics...doesnt mean u can get away without playing any...sad as it is...

i learnt that betrayal is soooo much easier to come by these days even by those u trust or want to call ur friend than true courage to stick by u n tell u to ur face wut is wrong is to come by...

they say keep ur frens close n ur enemies closer...i say keep ur family n ur "family" close...let the rest of the world burn...n choose ur "family" wisely for it reflects on u...

its been a looong year...n i can only hope that this year is much much better...


a new year...a new sem...a new beginning....but it still d same old emo fool here at Resurrection...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008 EVERYONE!!!