Saturday, February 2, 2008

I Am Worth Sooo Much More

disclaimer: this is MY experience...it is what I have gone through...if u feel i have implicated u in this post...too bad...take it up with me personally or shut the fuck up...

i have regressed...AIESEC was supposed to have expanded my horizons...it was supposed to have done soo much more for me...as a person...in terms of growth and everything...

dun get me wrong...AIESEC...the idea of it...the organization itself..the goals are good and the visions are solid...

but the people...the so called change agents...its less than ideal...

i spent a year in switzerland...i graduated from high school there...i was who i was...fearless...outspoken...independent of politics and wut other people thought...

but aiesec sucked me bk into high school...cz thats the mentality there...it really is...u aren't judged on how much work u do...or how much u contribute...u r judged on how good u look...if u fit into the "in" crowd or not...u r judged by how well u can play the political games....by how fake u can be...

i have regressed...

i poured my heart n soul into this organization...but wut do i have to show for it?

-pain
-heartache
-trials
-tribulations
-mockeries

my whole life for the past one year or so has been aiesec...the people i go to eat with...the people i drink with...the people i see everyday...n slowly..n steadily...their mindsets effected me...

they made me truly believe that i am less than wut i truly am...they made me believe that malaysian guys are worthless...that we dunno how to do anything rite...that our western counterparts are soo much better...

but how do they noe?

have they lived with them before?have they seen our western counterparts for wut they truly are?

NO...they have not...all they have are little girlish images and visions that are so far from the truth...their visions are about as far from the truth as i am as far away from heaven while sitting on my throne in hell...

but i am finally finding myself again...listening to those who truly noe me...listening to myself again...my voice that has been silenced for oh so long...

I AM WORTH SO MUCH MORE...

i am who i am...im no model...but i aint that bad looking either...i got the looks...n i got the personality...i AM a great guy...n im finally getting back that confidence again...

to the girls who r reading this...who still think so highly of my western counterparts....who think my western counterpart are soo much better than our local boys...

let me tell u this...i was much much more obnoxious than this back in switzerland n i was considered there to b better than the other guys....more gentlemanly than them...n i came bk...n i had to tone down abit...

this is toned down...if u cant even handle me...u really think u got a chance handling them?

wake up...i've learnt my lesson...i'm moving on...i'm moving out of high school again...its about time u people decided to grow up as well...

good bye people

2 comments:

goay said...

i could totally relate with what you've just blogged about. not in AIESEC but back in high school.

and i realized that selection of critism is really a good skill that i've learn throughout the years.

Sometimes there are people out there exist just to bring you down. ignore them.

and you're not bad looking la. at least one of the junior thinks that you're hot. i'm not telling who. ;)

SouLRenderZ said...

Who da girl larr?